What Ifs
by ProudToBe-LimpingTwerp
Summary: "Goodbye Jimmy.I fell in love with you and you turned me down.Now Ill go to a place where there is no pain.Just eternal darkness.Nothing." He stared out into the sky watching a whole different world where maybe what ifs could come true.MainCharacterdeath.


"WHAT IFS"

By: ProudToBe-LimpingTwerp

One-shot.

The small field was crowded. No preacher, no priest. Just a crowd dressed in black. House's family and Wilson's, both of they're friends, and the whole hospital. Quite a turn out. Two plots of dirt, next to the other. Two matching headstones written plain and simply adorned. As the ceremony drew to a close a familiar, pale, tearful face stepped apart from the crowd. A tearful Cuddy, dressed down in black, made her was to the front where a microphone stood. A silence washed over the crowd. Cuddy took a breath.

"We all know why we are here. We all know that these two would end up dead one day, we knew they would be next to the other, and we knew their friendship would survive to the bitter end. We knew these two would eventually end up together. The things we didn't know were that they would leave so soon, and that they will only be together in the abyss. Most of you don't know what happened. But I was fortunate enough to receive a voicemail from House, telling it all minutes before he died. The rest is my very a educated guess…

_He breathed out carefully and shut his eyes. What was he doing? He looked out the blurry frost covered window of his car and his eyes found a tall figure slumped to the ground outside his apartment building. The man had dark black hair and ice blue eyes that he recognized immediately. Jimmy bit his lip and then opened the door. Pulling his arms up folded against him, he walked over to House. Standing in front of him, Jimmy watched his bent over figure until House realized someone was watching him. He looked up at Jimmy, House's eyes locking with the younger man's . What Jimmy didn't expect was for House to be crying. The Gregory House crying! House never cried. Ever. Jimmy rushed over and slumped to the ground next to House, ignoring the cold that seeped into his bones. he put a hand on House's shoulder._

_"What's wrong, Greg." There was no tiredness or coldness to Jimmy's voice. It just held care._

_"Nothing," House told him wiping away his tears impatiently and struggled to his feet._

_"Apparently something is wrong. You don't cry, Greg, you never cry." Jimmy replied in the same tender tone. He turned away from him as a color tinted his cheeks. He looked down._

_"Go back to Sam, Jimmy. You don't have a reason to be out here. I do." he responded in a strangled tone as he took a couple steps away from me and looked up at the starlit sky._

_"Actually, I do." Jimmy answered following him so that he stood next to House, shoulder to shoulder. Jimmy looked up at the sky, surprisingly he saw only one star in the sky._

_"Oh, yeah... and what might that be?" asked House disbelievingly, yet he couldn't hide the curiosity that colored his tone. Jimmy didn't respond, he was much to afraid of what his friend might say when House found out that he lied. Instead, Jimmy stared hypnotized by the twinkling stars._

_"Star light, star bright... first star I see tonight...I wish I may... I wish I might... have this wish...I wish tonight. I wish I had never lied to Greg four hours ago, and I wish I had told him the truth. That I'm more in love with him then he may never know." he whispered softly._

_If House had listened more carefully and heard him then they would have ended up kissing. But House hadn't. He turned and walked away not seeing the tear that trickled down a very broken Jimmy Wilson's cheek._

_He stared out into the sky, watching a whole different world where maybe "what if's" could come true. But in this world they didn't. In this world he was broken, alone, tired, and scared._

_What if, "What if's" don't come true. What if you want them to?_

_Jimmy turned and walked toward his car. If he had instead turned and went up to House's apartment then maybe he would have gotten there before the shot went off. Maybe he would have been in time to save him. Maybe he would have at least heard the final words he left with._

_"Goodbye Jimmy. I fell in love with you and you turned me down. Now Ill go to a place where there is no pain. Just eternal darkness. Nothing."_

_Maybe he would have been able to be told the words he needed to hear from the man he love's mouth instead of reading them from the note he left behind._

_But he didn't. So, instead, he raced up to his apartment after the shot and found House's dead body with a note written in quick brush script in his left hand. Instead Jimmy had to pry the note clutched in still ironically warm fingers as tears raced down his cheeks._

_Dearest Jimmy,_

_Pain. I always had in some sort of way. But this pain is harsher and crueler. I told you I loved you and you shot me down. I cannot stand not having you in my life somewhat. Since I'm dead I can be openly honest. Was there ever a chance you'd feel the same? I think not, it was a fools mistake to tell you and now I'm paying the price. This is in no way your fault. It was coming either way. If I didn't tell you I think I would have offed myself instead of living with that secret. The past is where I will always lurk. For here is where the smiles and laughs, the thick and thin, where chance and hope thrive. This is where I had a chance. This is where I get to keep you around. So this is where I will stay. Jimmy, as a last request, don't do anything stupid, please…_

_- Gregory House_

_Maybe if Jimmy had gone up before he wouldn't have took the gun and put a bullet through his head. He wouldn't be lying next to House now both of them dead. And still with the note clutched tight in his hand was how all who had loved them found them. Now at least both will be together and happy. This was better than a much worst ending. _

Yet somehow this all seems like something was left undone. Like some words were never said and some deeds never done. Now they both lie together forever some how. Both of them happier than they ever were.

What if those "what if's" had come true? Than maybe we would all be happy instead of crying at there funeral today. They would both be alive if they had just done what they knew they were supposed to do. They played there hands and somehow got just a little less then luck. At least there both happy, there are things worse than dead. Yet somehow I wish those words left forgotten had been said."…

Fin


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